30th AUGUST.

today is lovely's third month. but its only left with me, alone. i seemed to be accepting th fact that he's gone. slowly and slowly.. but, it just feels like as if, he is around me, always. and today, since morning, i've been missing him alot. its just th fear of being alone. and i'll still be waiting, till th day we both meet again. im full of faith, cause i believed in everything you once told me. even if you wont love me anymore, i'll be glad to just see your face once more and loving you in th heart. lovely, we'll meet one day again, im sure of it. and i promised, i wont leave this world, cause i'll pull thru every single suffering now and in th near future. i'll finish up th things you cant finish up, th things you cant experience & to fulfill. i give you my word. i sensed your presence today in my dream, im sure you know what im thinking. let both of us just remain silent. rest well my dearest, i know what im doing, no worries. i still miss you.

I CANT ACCEPT TH FACT..

i will not be blogging for th next whole period of time. i need time to really calm myself down. i cant accept th fact that lovely had left me, gone forever, nver to exist in this world again. i will not accept th fact, its just a dream. i know, i'll wake up from it. he wudn't just leave like that. its not th reality. i know that aft a sleep, i'll wake up and see him alright. everyone is just dreaming, its just a cruel joke made to us. he was fine yesterday night, he was still talking to me. i cud still feel his temperature while he stands right beside me. he was still joking about with me. he still hugged me tightly. i cant accept that he's gone forever. it must have been th worst nightmare i've encounter. i'll wake up from that nightmare. i know he wont do such things to me. but.. all these are just lies to numb myself. cause.. its all facts. facts that can nver be changed again. his voice can nver be heard, his backview that i used to watch, th way he disturbs me, it had all turned into memories, memories that makes my heart ache badly. happy & sad moments. im glad, im still his till th last minute, till he leaves this world. and right now, i gotta accept th fact that.. he's gone. forever. goodbye lovely. dont forget about us. remember, i love you.

its really departure this time round. and it hurts badly, so bad till you wont even realized that you're crying. i know you'll watch over me, you said that before. look me up alright? im waiting for you to come back. i'll wish to see your face again. i miss you.

THIS IS TRULY LIKE SHIT.

well.. still th same today, its a like shit day. due to th same freaking reason. i damn god regretted it. and im really down. i've nver felt like this. this is totally like crap. i can tell you, its true. but, i was glad to have my frens around. well, just wait on and see, i'll prove it wrong. right now, all can say is.. im really deeply affected over this matter. and i somehow seemed not able to get over it. like shit like shit like shit. how much difference i have whenever th particular period comes. i, myself, really shocked at th big difference of behaviour as well. but.. it cant be helped, its not what i wanted. i seriously think this is like shit, and i cant stand it. im so pissed out in th mind & heart right now. i've been going thru these few days of stress and unhappiness. i hope i'll have a good day ahead tmrr. i need to be inspired instead of demoralised anymore! arghs. fcuk.

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

WELL..

guess i cudn't get over what happened th day before still. a sudden change of mood and attitude, im sorry! but.. thanks to everyone who consoled me. im fine. believe, tmrr will be another hell day for us. lets just be prepared. i dont wish to think much anymore. im so not gonna kill my brain cells by this way. wasting it, like throwing into th bin. well, i'll get it over. no big deal. im sure i can, like how i always do. a great day with brothers&sisters. th thing that i cant believe is, i actually cried two freaking bloody times! what th ****. must thank aloy daddy with th supply of tissues. lol, and sorry to get sisters worried, apologies!

well.. i really hate pple to hit my head, or mess up my hair. okay, who likes to get his/ her hair messed up!? but what i mean is, i just.. dont like to get hit on th head. thats th main point. and i've my reason why. i din tell anyone, yes, not a single living soul. of th reason, until today.. well.. i hope this kinda things wont happen anymore. as for th reason why, lets just keep it as a secret. anyways, it'll be revealed someday. just, someday. dont prompt over it, its nothing big (:

well.. can we just take more photos? and those who have not taken any with them. please dont be shy! c'mon, be enthusiastic, and im so gonna take photos. because... taking photos are fun! hahh! okay, im going off for revision. byebye.

brothers&sisters.
these are called - 'th retard neoprints' (:




signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

SHAG.

this is th only word that can describe my feeling for today. im really demoralised. i really feel like crying out loud. this is so freaking like shit. it also affected my oral examinations for today. but fortunately, i managed to pull back in time. im really, very very, demoralised. i cant stand it. its like as if all my effort done all this time had gone to waste. this is like shit, i promise. im feeling really down right now. didn't expected it to turn out like this, not at all. perhaps, not that badly, but i was wrong. ever since just now, th question kept on appearing in my mind, flashing thru over again and again. im supposed to be working hard now. but, im totally pulled off aft today. im speechless. i feel so much like a failure. im really down, i need a break.


signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

& IM HOME SOOO EARLY (:

yes. reason being is because, i didn't wanted to waste much time anymore. so i came home early to study & have a good rest. guess i'll stay up till midnight to study again. well, even thou im tired, at least i feel happy about myself. that's what i felt. haha, and by coincidence, met chanhong in th bus as he was going to meet up with boss. hmm, well.. me and dana came to an agreement. and that is to, i'll teach her SSH & she'll teach me english. wow! i cant believe that we actually agreed to help each other. lol, okay.. we're all just crazy pple who bitches around. like.. who dont? hahh! alright.. im going to have my lunch/dinner & off to work. god, this is bad, my eyelids are closing up! nonoonoonononoooooooooooooo ~

english oral's tmrr! damn. im kinda worried,somehow. well.. i'll do my best still! and good luck to everyone who're gonna take th oral examinations tmrr! all th best.

study hard pple, we'll celebrate our achievements someday (:


signing off--
l.a.l.a.l.l.a.l.a

ITS GONNA BE MY AIM.

yes, i didn't update yesterday. sorry about it! yea well.. im doing quite alright these two days. okay. and hubby came to my house till eleven plus i think? well, had a fun day with her. and trying to play some songs out from my guitar. god, still so lousy for guitar. cant wait till i can actually play it well by time. cause, my aim is to compose my own songs. but still, not forgetting to improve my own vocal. not much time to do it right now. i gotta concentrate on studies and practise singing & guitar doing relax time. i hope that this plan will work out successfully thou. hahh! okay, prelims is on coming friday, yea? i think its english paper & social studies if im not wrong. and our art's dateline is on 28 august! damnn. kinda hate it now, rushing for every shit. well.. still gotta do, cant run away from reality, isn't it? gosh. if i've th time & money, i'll go take up singing lessons. th though of it, makes me.. faint! well.. perhaps, someday.. hahh! okay, for th time being, lets jsut not be so ambitious first. Os are on th way! work hard pple! :D

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

SLEEEEEEPPPPPPYYYYY ~

yes, today's weather is indeed damn hot once again. well, shant compain much. cause, im feeling tired. im planning to get on with all my revisions later on! well, wish me to have a smooth revision. hahh! im so tired right now. i feel like sleep till th next morning, but well, as these are just craps, im sure you guys know what i mean. went to tampines mall with brothers&sisters aft school. saw so many many things, so kawaii one, lol making th three girls crazy. hees. and so, just reached home not long ago. oh yes! dad bought a punching bag back home for my brother. gees, its damn cool! and frankly, its heavy, din even had th strength to actually punch that freaking thing. hahhas. overeall, my mood for today is quite good, cause i know how to do bio test & amaths pre prelim paper! this makes me super god damn happy okay!

and derrick's mv is coming out sooon. lol, cant wait. okay, i know LAHS. that im just so crazy over this guy here. well.. little girl's fantasies, dont mind yea? but well, cause i like his singing. dont ask me why, i dont know why either! hahh! its unexplainable thou. hees.


well, im bored. so, i went to take up this quiz for th fun (:

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Swan Animal You Were in a Past Life: Rabbit You are passive, sentimental, and emotional. You sometimes lack self-confidence, but you are creative and rational.

well, i took this photo in school. these sweets makes me go gaga!
really! it looks.. damn cute! lol! xD


signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

HASSLE DAY .

well, indeed.. not a very good day for me. right from th morning, my mood was alrd ruined badly. argwwhs nvermind, its over. and yes, mr ranit haven been coming to teach us for two days due to oral. examinations. relaxed, but feel slacked thou. had a long day bitching about much almost everything with simin aloy jovina th most. lol. but anyways, i just feel tired for today i guess? and parents are out for those kinda dinner you see, so, im left home with my brother. after blogging, i'll get back to studying. right now, i feeling so, shag. i dont know why, i only know that it sucks. i need an early sleep tonight! i can see that everyone's so busy with their life now. its time to get busy too. lol. monkey see monkey do. we are monkeys thou! hahh! okayokay, im going to transfer files to my handphone & off to work! work hard pple!

look, you gotta see me shine one day.
im gonna compose my own songs, some day, i promise. (:

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

DISAPPOINTMENT FALLS.

chinese o levels results are out today. well, our school din really did well for th chinese students. i got a B3 and i feel like shit. my As. its over. im so disappointed that i cried. but well.. its all cause, i didn't wanted to retake my chinese paper again. i dont wanna waste time on it again. but too bad, i've to input time & effort into chinese again. arghhs. even tcher felt disappointed, she said i was capable of A1 or A2 . but she told me its a must to retake. cause my oral & listening compre got distinction. so i'll easily get an A1 if i retake. well.. its th only choice left i had. and i feel like just.. so shit today! okay, enough disappointment for today alright.

its okay, it aint th end of th world. well.. fact is, i'll be fine aft hearing derrick's songs! lol! kidding eh. yesterday's superband, xiaojingteng attended! well.. haywiresxz once again. cause his hair is so much nicer now! hahhs. and.. superband's standard.. is like.. i mean, its th first time i watch.. i dont ever watch any of this season's bfore. except that, i know that xiaojingteng was th guest for yesterday. then i went to watch it.. i've not yet seen any band i like at all.. i fell.. disappointed thou.

well guys, unless i come home early th next few days. otherwise, i wont be updating my blog. i've got many thing to do & brush up on! but still, aas usual, i'l ltry my best to at least update a short post if possible yea? i promise. alrights, work hard pple!

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

MAYBE , IM RIGHT ..

yes, i decided to blog early today. cause.. i dont think im gonna use th com later on anymore. i needa study! cause prelims are very near. argwwhhs. actually, still many things not yet done. gotta rush again. cause, revision aint just, pure revision. right? its like.. you gotta memorize and everything. like science, i know, its about understanding, but tell me. whats th point of understanding but you dont remember? dumb, isn't it? hahh! but well.. studies aint that detestable thou. its quite fun, im not crazy, im serious. okay, i dont wish to nagg.

wud you choose your love ones instead of yourself?
is letting go, th hardest thing to do, or issit just that, you dont wish to face and accept th fact about th ending? well.. you guys think about it yourself. i really dont know how to console or say anything about it, i've tried bfore. thers nothing i cud do about it. dont ask me, dont question me. cause, i only know that, somethings that were changed, wont be back like th past again.

lol. pple ask me, whether im afraid. i will only reply with a smile, i dont wish to think about it (: lets just be contented with whatever we have, can we? dont think of th negative side. many things, really depends on yourself. even if it ends someday, slowly, you'll understand, all these you've gone thru, will become a treasured memory of yours (:


ahem* just kiss kiss.,nothing else (:




khai, peng & JIONG! jiong forced them to take photo with him xD



signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

SORRY PPLE !

that i didn't update my blog! okay, went out yesterday with sisters&brothers and tgt with hubby. lol, that lame biaatchh, well everyone knows about that right? hah! hmm.. went to watch th fireworks! woah, it was beautiful you know! except that, lovely wasn't ther. but well.. its alright, i was really happy yesterday! hahh, long time since go so crazy with my brothers&sisters. happy happy happy day (: hees! and also hubby, act shy one ah she! ooops =x hahaa. well, still, a happy day! hmm, now its time for prelims. tmrr's a holiday! must study also, lol. i mean, everyday must study! but.. i didn't today, cause went out to pray and other things with relatives. so didn't had th time. well.. gotta go have rest & start working tmrr again! lol. i'll try to update tmrr alright? sorry for th short post.. let th pictures do th work (:

wo she bu de -/












signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

ITS EXAGGERATING .

oh well, i attended school for two freaking hours! i cant believe it, i made it. and as expected, its really boring. okay, that quiz & that ball rolling ther. oh.. but well, we all know th tchers are trying hard, they're really trying hard to make th event interesting. hahh. so lets just.. yea, im sure you guys know what i meant yea? hmm. and aft school ends, went to tampines mall to have our luch and went to catch a movie aftwards.

its ' money no enough 2 ' th title.. i know i know! its.. very singlish, hahh!
th show is. alright lahs i shud say. i mean, like how you always watch th movies by th local, i mean, you can expect th storyline somehow. funny & sad, touching. okay, lets talk about this. do you guys cry when you watch movies with those parts which made you felt really sad or touched? okay, i admit i do cry, i mean sometimes, its normal. here comes th deal, look. ther were a few audience sitting behind us today. they cried and cried and cried.. like as.. like.. god, like your pet parrot died or something like that?! damnn. its alright if you cried badly casue you feel th show. but its really exaggerating im telling you. they cried like.. with weird noises. damnn, i really take my hat off to them. its in th public, if you cry at home. its your own business.. but.. aint it weird when th sad part was alrd over and everyone else is laughing at those funny scenes but you continued crying with those noises. my first encounter -.-

and yes, brothers&sisters said that they're going out to watch th fireworks tmrr. wa kao! im so jealous.. i dont dare to really ask my parents, cause.. im afraid to get, rejected T.T but well.. i love th fireworks. dont you think its beautiful?i think its really romantic, if you're able to watch with your love ones. okay well, i know, everyone's views & opinions are different. so, its alright if you dont agree with me. hahhs. even if you parents allow me to go, i'll stay home to get my work & revision done bfore going out. yep, if im going out, im deciding to go out during th late afernoon. but still, aft crapping so much. i hope to be able to go tmrr! lol. and it'll be best if... _ahem ahem ahem_ shh, its a secret* hahas. and anyways! is prelims like.. next week?! or next next week?! damnn, that whole pile of load thats on my table. time to get tighter schedule alrd.

oh yes, GCE O LEVELS CHINESE PAPERS, th results are going to be out on next tuesday. god, please bless me. well, thou i know it wont work. cause im th one who did th paper, not god. but.. im kinda.. afraid. i mean, i know im supposed to be confident in my own chinese. but this time, th papers, kinda hard thou. im so afraid if i dont get my As. i know, if i dont, just retake its again. its nothing. but then! i dont wish to waste my time on my chinese anymore. i wanna concentrate even more on my other subjects. so, good luck to myself & everyone!


well, this picture exactly explains how i meltsxz ~
it really makes me.. go.. very... haywiresxz !



signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

HEY THER , MY SWEETIES & HONEYYS :D

i did update yesterday! but th com wudn't budge. its true. damnn! its like.. i tried afew times, but i gave up aft that. like so, irritatingokay! getting on my nerves. everytime i type so bloody freaking much, yet.. it just.. puffs* gone! well.. no choice anyways! well.. prelims are.. soooo reaching in no time! gosh. imagine th whole pile of science on my table. faints* i need extra revision. but im always tired everyday. well.. this is a long weekend this week. so, i'll make use of th time. since, they said that monday's a holiday! hahas! hmm, and yes, im printing out th amaths papers ms chong had sent to us! wow, alot of them, now i understand why she didn't wanted to print it for us! so many of them! hahas, but well.. its amaths day tmrr still! hees! okay. and tmrr, school's celebrating national day. and its only for, two hours? yea, two hours! alot pple are not going tmrr, agrhhhs. thinking if to go tmrr, well, depends on my sisters thou.

and khai, act cutee! he purposely siad.. nvermind, its okay if you guys nver come.. nvermind.. in such a sacarstic tone, cause he is going tmrr. and he is trying to imply that we're gonna ps him. evil khai! try to GL me and jovina again LAHS. then, your phone really lost, dont care you alrd hor! KHAIRUL ANWAR ! lol, jiong is very th cuteee. while waiting for my parents today in school. he suddenly asked khai.. eh khai, you today got come school ah? wa kao! so cute right, this question.. damnn!and jiong loves power rangers! xD

and yes, this is to say. i'll attend school tmrr. im a good student. not like... ahem* dont know whoever it is eh. those who not going LAHS hor? hahas! well.. lets see how it goes tmrr then! at least.. i dont ps my brothers&sisters, right? hahhs! ^^

haywiresxz over derrick ~
but im not forgetting lovely at all still! ^^

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

TIRINGGGGG ~

phew* a tiring day for me, i dont know why but i just kept trying to keep my eyes open. well.. i've got compre & summary to do later on! cause im not around in school yesterday. alrights, nothing much to talk about for today thou. im feeling tired, and lol, so far nothing much takes over my mind for th time being except derrick.. hah! well, im going haywiresxz ~ just ignore me for th time being, hah! well.. its really, cant stand it, lol. okayokay, i'll stop melting alright? hees. work hard pple! prelims are so so so reaching alrd. in another two weeks time! ahhhh. (:

well.. today's a good day thou (:

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

A DAY OFF !

heyhey pple, really sorry that i didn't update yesterday, and updating later today as well. well, im home today. i didn't go to school, cause.. my ligament got infected and i cudn't walk out of th sudden again. th problem is.. i didn't even fall. what th hell, i just woke up everyday feeling worst, and suddenly cudn't walk again. scary eh? well.. lets skip this topic. its getting.. disgusting! hah! well.. when i cudn't go school today, i was damn shag. cause thers amaths mock exam today! and i've took so much effort revising & redoing but i cudn't turn up. so called up ms chong last nigh, she said she'll pass me th copy & she wanna go play mahjong! hah! well.. i got th amaths paper! woohoo. i've finished doing it alrd! feeling great.. lol ~

im waiting for lovely to sing me th TEN SONGS (:

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

YEAAA PPLE !

heyheyhey. really sorry! i was out today to pray & out for dinner with my relatives. yep, so, i didn't had much time to revise today. but at least, i did my amaths in th morning. a little is better than, nothing. right? and right now, my ligament, something is so wrong! i think im having a relapse. seriously, if my ankle continue to hurt so badly for th next few days, i'll consult th doctor. yea, i will. i dont wanna be a crippled! okay.. well.. im tired. okayokay. i'll see if i've th time tmrr, and i'll try updating my blog. you know, nowadays, really.. really.. revision & revison & revision. Os are reaching, i dont wanna regret my life. hmm, alright. so, i shall see you guys tmrr! sleep tight tight pple! sweeeeeeeeeet dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeams :D

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

WHAT TH FISHHHHHHHH !

okay. firstly, im sorry i didn't update yesterday. because i was not free, i didn't use th com so i cudn't update. argwwhhs, and now! how did my.. recordings got up to imeem?! GRADELIA & ANGELA ! you guys are sooooo dead. you guys recorded me singing that time.. and then you guys uploaded it, im so embarassed now! ohmygod. serious, eh, can you guys take down th songs? its very... unplesant you know! its not nice, gosh, damnn! im so embarrassed now, eh serious! hey pple, dont visit th website please. im so.. feeling so.. so very th.. no face! still dare to say, will upload more in future! crazy crazy. woah, sian, im very.. speechless now! arghhhhhs*

okay, and today. its an okay day. except that, im tired. and yes, indeed im sleeping in in th IT RESOURCE ROOM. i mean, no wrong, cause its free time, i finished my survey. and th weather's so very hot! gahh. and yes, many things to do for amaths. i mean just revision revision. cause we're having amaths mock exam on monday you see. so, i must do more. practise makes perfect. hahas. and fact is, im still tired right now. lol. but today is th day i can rest abit more. and im not too sure if i'll go out tmrr to study. depends depends depends. it counts on my parents as well. amaths and amaths. emaths, history, social studies, bio, chem, poa! prelims are so very near. must study alrd. chiong chiong chiong :D

signing off--
l.a.l.l.a.l.a

Your dearest blogger, Jingying.
Please respect my blog & my says.
Dont judge me from what you see.
I may surprise you more than you expect.

I'll smile to you, if you're nice. ^^v
Thank you.

Family, Brothers&sisters, & Friends. ♥

Music

Happiness

University

JAROD's FC ^^

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